It feels so good to actually care about my appearance again. To actually have the desire, and will power to actually do my hair and make-up. To actually want to wear a cute outfit instead of my sweats. It feels so good to feel a touch of warmth in the air hinting that spring is just around the corner. And not a moment too soon. My hair had grown out quite a bit since my disasterous cut and was finally around the length I wanted it but thanks to my several perms my hair is super damaged. So today I went over to the Paul Mitchell School and had them chop off a couple of inches to get rid of the damage. It looks pretty good but wasn’t what I wanted, but I like it well enough for now. We are trying to get it back to the a-line that the lady that did it last cut off completely changing my style after I asked her not to.
I got to meet up with one of my best friend's Kim for lunch today at one of my favorite places! It as always great to see her. With our busy schedules its hard to find the time to meet up very often.
My friend Amber surprised me with a care package full of wonderful fresh produce and tofu from the Sunflower Market! I love tofu! I am so excited. She is so amazing! I just love the thought of someone going to the trouble of hand-picking produce for me! What a total sweetheart.
In all of the hulabaloo of fixing dinner last night while trying to sneak in a blog I didn't realize I hadn't mentioned those two amazing things as I had meant to.
Things with the ex have smoothed out now that we have got back to an agreement of joint custody. He is going to try having Jaiden full-time for a while. Since changing to this however it has jumbled up all our lives and Jaiden is now acting out towards me again like crazy after we had made so much progress. It is very discouraging. Lately I’m still so tired, I have very little patience for his behavior but have no idea how to deal with it. I’m trying to focus on the positive, re-direct his energy and give him tons of praise for the good things he does and as much as I can ignore the bad. My usual approach though is to get really upset over the bad which seems to make him act out more. The old routine that bad attention is better than none. Little does he know I will be happy to give him plenty of attention for good behavior if I could just see some. It’s super frustrating. But right now emotionally I need the break. Sadly I wouldn’t need this break if my ex hadn’t done this in the first place but now that he has, I have a monster on my hands again, and my plate is pretty full as it is, there is only so much energy I have to go around. So we are just trying to figure it out for now.
Most likely my ex will bounce him back to me after a couple months like he always does when he realizes just how hard it really is to have Jaiden full-time. My question right now is what to do about that. Do I give him the out like always or do I try and make him keep Jaiden to learn a lesson? Or do I make him sign papers when he gives him back this time, that this time it’s for good. I always want to be here for my son but I can’t keep being jerked around all the time and Jaiden wants to be with his Dad when his Dad wants this- so trying to keep him from having it makes him hate me more it seems. Yet he hates me either way so I just can’t win which pretty much sucks.
On a happier note, It’s official. We are moving, this coming weekend. Everything has worked out perfectly. Just in time as my home is being sold via auction tomorrow. It’s strange to leave this place. This place I have called home for 3 years. It’s strange that is harder in some ways to leave it now, than it was when I moved to Hawaii. Our new place is so beautiful. The entire home has been remodeled so everything is brand new. It is big, bright, spacious and open. It has a lovely big back yard that is fenced and a big covered back porch. I will be planting a garden this year I’m very excited about! We will be living right across from a skate park, a garden and a large park, walking distance to a grocery store, busline etc. Everything is right in reach and will make my new lifestyle (of not having a car) that much easier. It will be interesting adjusting to having roommates again but I feel very hopeful and optismistic we will find great people.
School is going well. I’m still very behind but am catching up quickly. So far my progress is good. My last math test that I was the most worried about, I scored 98%! I am so excited. So far for health I’ve scored 90% on both my tests and 100% on all of my assignments including my first big project that was worth 100 points. I just need to finish reading and taking the exams for 6 chapters but by next weekend another 3 chapters will be due so I have to hurry! I’m definitely running out of time and I need to catch up as much as I can time IS running out! I just got the grades today in health so I’m very excited. I have made it through one whole DVD of my Economics class lectures and am now in the middle of reading chapter three. I’ve got a long way to go but hopefully I can use my spring break as catch up time to get up to date on the class. Having to wait so long to get books this semester really put me behind but luckily my economics class is completely self-paced so I didn’t lose any points for turning in late assignments as nothing is due until the end of the semester. With health I was able to do the first assignments without my book and now am catching up on all the chapter work. It’s proving tougher than I thought, but thankfully these are easier courses.
Its hard to believe I have a whole year of pre-requisites before I even start the nursing program. That is discouraging, but it helps to know it will make getting my bachelor’s faster once I have a lot of these generals out of the way.
I’m feeling very inspired to work out. I’ve been going to the gym again and I love it. I’m also excited to get a new pair of rollerblades, and an LED hula hoop, as well as start designing some hoopdancing costumes. I have been eating really healthy and have found I no longer crave sugar, not even my usual cookies and orange juice. In fact when I eat or drink them they burn my throat and overwhelm me. I truly never thought the day would come as I have had a huge addiction to sugar my entire life. It feels amazing that it no longer has a hold over me. I have never felt so healthy and am grateful for one winter where I only got really sick once (even though I always feel like crap the whole winter, I wasn’t actually sick, just that one time thankfully). I am still not in great shape though, my endurance sucks and I still get cramps before I make it halfway on my rebound work-out. I hope to get back in shape soon though because once the weather warms up a bit more I want to be outside and active as much as I possibly can.
Well I have to get back to my math homework. I have a ton of it!
No comments:
Post a Comment