I am having such a good day and am so happy in spite of my madness, borrowing $130 to buy something that doesn’t even work with my laptop last night- that I’m now stuck with and can’t use. In spite of ordering 10th Edition of the Economics History of America book and receiving the 9th edition which I have waited weeks for and have yet to even start my class because of and now I have the wrong book. In spite of the fact my son drew x’s on my face in some of my pictures’, and drew all over his furniture because he say’s he hates me- (after I spent a great evening with and bought him some toys he has been wanting forever. Can we say spoiled??!! Ugh!). In spite of my ex taking my son away from me and disrupting both of our lives and our routine and stability…AGAIN! In spite of watching episode after episode of the dog whisperer, and various other training programs, and after years of practice, experience and work, I still am not the pack leader to my dog that I love so much and she is challenging me and being so aggressive I nearly have to strangle her to get her to calm down when I try to take her for walks, AFTER 30-45 minutes or running her in the yard chasing tennis balls FIRST! UGH! In spite of this stupid winter that feels like it will never end and endless money problems. In spite of all the stupid choices I seem to keep on making. In spite of not getting my student loan check…YET and we are almost at midterms. In spite of losing my house. In spite of challenges with managing my time. In spite of religious issues and scary dreams and family problems that just came up…AGAIN! In spite of hating holidays and cold weather and being trapped inside. In spite of not having the money to get or do the things I want- In spite of losing my house, in spite of not having a car anymore, in spite of my mountain of debts that are going nowhere.
I am happy.
I am in school moving my life forward. I was able to scrounge up enough money today to treat myself to a hair color, lunch and some treats. I got to go to Paul Mitchell the school for a color today finally (it’s been since end of July that I had my hair colored) and boy did I need it! It looks great, I love the color and I feel better now that it’s done. I spent some quality time with both my Mom and Dad yesterday (not at the same time mind you) and my son. My sweetheart tried to help me get a new desktop tower since my docking station idea flopped and has been working on that with me. Hiram has also been watching The Dog Whisperer with me and helping me with Cloey and just being incredibly loving and supportive of me during my seasonal depression. The sun was shining, the sky was clear and I got spring fever today. I spent as much time as I could near windows today soaking in the warm rays of the sun and day dreaming about spring and this summer! My ex- picked up Jaiden today so I could have a break. I spent quality time with my puppy (even though I wanted to kill her afterwards). I ate four Paradise Bakery Chocolate chip cookies, my most favorite. I had a tasty lunch at Bajio (I splurged today!) and I got a lot of homework done, and am still finishing some tonight and am cleaning up my room/living room to get ready for our big move. I am just having such a nice day where I get to take care of and love on me for a while and have some down time to just be by myself and it is wonderful!!
If all goes well we will be moving in a few short weeks into our beautiful new home. Everything is falling into place perfectly and I truly feel it is meant to be. In spite of all my challenges, I have so much to be grateful for and I am so very blessed. I have all the things that really matter in life and that helps give me the strength to push through any challenge that comes my way and face another day.
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